Career vs. Love? Hmm . . .

Hello, gentle audience!
I apologize in advance for the rant that is going to follow:

When single women reach 18, they get asked a question frequently. "Are you seeing anyone?" Now, I was under the impression that it didn't start happening until at least mid-20's, but no. "Are you seeing anyone?" becomes a constant presence in the lives of women a lot younger than I'd thought, as do the pitying, "Oh"s and "That's OK, you have time"s, and my personal favorite, "Don't worry, the right one's out there somewhere." Many of my friends are in serious relationships, and a few are already engaged. Everywhere I turn I see happy couples kissing goodbye on their way to class and calling each other to find out how their days went. And the girls who aren't in relationships go on ENDLESSLY about getting married and being alone and finding a guy.
I have to admit that it drives me a little crazy, but not for the reason that you'd think. What happened to the feminist movement, a movement that was supposed to make it OK for a woman to be single? I have seen so many talented and strong women fall for a guy and completely give up their ambitions, even their individuality, and it makes me sad. A girl I know actually said that she came to college to find a husband, and yes, she was completely serious. And several of my very talented performance major friends have said that they would gladly give up performing to be married and have children.

Now, if that's what they truly want and it will make them perfectly content, than kudos to them. It means that their career isn't what has been most important to them, and that's totally cool in my book. I would never presume to tell people how to live. But sometimes I think that people get blindsided by love. They fall head over heels for someone and get so involved with that person that they forget that they are an individual WITHIN a couple, not JUST a couple. They forget that they wanted individual things in their lives. Love changes things, and that's wonderful, but allowing it to change you so much that you forget who you are outside of a couple is very sad to me.

A statement to which a good friend of mine would and has replied:
"You're just scared!" or better yet, "Oh, you just wait until you fall in love, you'll see!"
(Oh my gosh, I'm a little pissed just reading it, it's so condescending!)

To which I would love to reply:
Then I don't want to fall in love. Not like that anyway. And yes, I am absolutely scared shitless. You see, my ambitions are and have been a huge part of me for as long as I can remember. If love is something that makes them change or, worse, disappear, I don't want to experience it. I really don't want to lose myself because I really like myself, and what if I never find me again? I mean, I don't think that's what it has to be at all. God couldn't give us free will and individuality and then expect us to give it up to fit into the mold of a "perfect" relationship. There has to be another kind of relationship out there, one not often explored that leaves room for lives that are separate and together, individual and together.
And let's face it, it's absolutely wonderful to be able to be exactly who I want to be and not have to ask someone first. To be able to leave at the drop of a hat if need be, or wear low cut tops and flirt with the boys at the bar. To be able to graduate college with few attachments and go wherever the hell I want to. I'm completely aware that I'm not ready for commitment, and I'm not sure I will be for a while.
And so, for now, I guess it's singledom for me. Or, it is at least until, somewhere, somehow, VERY far in the future, I find the guy that absolutely wants me to be my quirky, neurotic, tall, always singing, overly-ambitious self by myself while in a relationship with him. Until then, gentle audience, I shall remain single and very proud and content to be so.